May 12th, 2024
This past weekend I decided to just play fly on the wall and listen in on any conversations among Wyrm Wyrld patrons that I noticed drift into discussions of rumors et al. Unfortunately not a whole lot came up in terms of new information. The one recurring thread I noticed was something about someone in a skeleton costume riding a tricycle. Apparently they were riding around the park screaming about "the horse that comes at night." Nobody seemed to have a clue about what they were on about, and, considering they wound up careening off a cliff after being chased by security out of the park, we may never know what they meant by that. There was another topic of Wyrm Wyrld's figurhead Worm getting embroiled in a legal battle with Weisenheimer Bros.® Bagels, but no one had a solid grasp on why that was the case.
I was just about to call it quits Sunday morning and head out early. I went to one of the restrooms near the western end of the park (close to the worm milking simulation ride) so I could wash my face after a particularly sticky cotton candy snack. I had just finished drying my face off with the electric drier when I heard rumbling from behind me. I turned around and saw what I might think was genuinely one of the creatures people had been talking about.
I tried to take a picture with my phone, but it disappeared back into the stall at the end of the bathroom, leaving me with a picture too blurry to be believable as concrete evidence. I followed it to the stall it went into, but as soon as I opened the door it was gone. The gaping hole in the ventilation shaft above the stall's toilet led me to believe the creature escaped thru the vents (and possibly entered thru those same vents in the first place). I have no idea what it was doing in that bathroom, why it ran from me when it clearly had the physical advantage were it to attack, or how long it had been there before I noticed it. One question is answered, and now several more arise.
I've tried my best to sketch what I saw based on my memory of the creature and the blurry photo I had. I cannot say with accuracy that this is truly what it looked; just what my memory would allow me. I wholeheartedly understand if no one believes me on this, but I promise that I did actually see something at least somewhat like this:
Even if this isn't accurate, my hope is that someone will be able to provide more information on this creature and perhaps more concrete evidence of whatever this thing is.
I have no other updates to provide, so I will simply sign off for now. As always, keep your eyes peeled.
Signed,
Simply Patton
P.S. I would recommend staying away from the pickled candy canes at the gift shop for the time being. I bought some recently and found myself keeled over by the toilet for a good 45 minutes before it finally passed through my system. Apparently they had ordered too many candy canes originally and a lot of them had expired already. If you, like me, have a soft spot for these sweet and sour treats, wait until June when the gift shop is supposed to be getting a new shipment.
May 7th, 2024
Since its opening day on March 9th of 2024, Wyrm Wyrld has turned out to be not only one of the most successful magically-sourced theme parks but also one of the biggest generators of fantastical mysteries and rumors. From secret passageways between sections of the park to citings of peculiar entities throughout the park, Wyrm Wyrld boasts a number of peculiarities that has only grown since I first visited the park 5 days after its grand opening.
Some mysteries lean on the safer side, like secret mystery food items you can supposedly order in the food court. Others go deep into the bizarre and perturbing. I distinctly remember two squirmies on line for Tornado Potatoes talking about a mutual friend of theirs seeing some kind of creature lurking about in one of the restrooms. One squirmy corrected that the creature was found in the "West Womb", a location that I have not found on any maps of the park or any other official documentation surrounding the park and its attractions.
As if one creature sighting wasn't enough, I've been hearing rumors of even more monsters hiding within the park, including the supernatural and beasts born possibly of radiation. The West Womb hasn't even been the only mystery location I've been hearing talk of. I've overheard talks of secret sewer systems far below underground, an abandoned theatre room inside the cinema, and perhaps the most famous mystery of the park: The Goo Hole. Reports on the Goo Hole seem to vary wildly, but they all converge back into a central theme of the hole beckoning people. People supposedly go in and then never come out, or if they do come out they are permanently changed in some horrific way. While no concrete evidence of such a thing has arisen, the number of disappearances has had me concerned.
I've always had a knack for nosing my way into mysteries needing to be solved, and Wyrm World offers too rich a motherlode of mysteries to unravel for me to ignore. As such, I've created this online newsletter as a way of not only reporting my findings but also allowing other people to come forward with their findings as well. If Wyrm Wyrld truly holds as many cursed secrets as the rumors let on, then I can't let myself simply sit idly by while more people possibly find themselves in harm's way.
For the sake of security I'll be writing on this site under an alias: Patton. Simply Patton. Given the possibly severity of what's going on in the park, I find it wisest to obscure my identity so as not to have a paper trail (or in this case, html trail) leading back to me. Once I figure out how to implement such a thing, I'll have a form people can submit their findings on the park through to me. Don't worry, though. Any findings you submit will be reported as from an anonymous source like my own.
This all may just be a wild goose chase at the end of the day, but until more information comes out on the alleged disappearances I feel obligated to do my part in informing people what's going on. Besides, I have always fancied myself something of a journalistic mind. This kind of venture does give me an outlet of sorts to exercise that mind, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited about all of this.
Until next time, I bid you a fond farewell. Keep your eyes peeled.
Signed,
Simply Patton